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The Dork Side: Let’s blame everything on TEEN MOM

By SONIA MANSFIELD 04/07/2011
TEEN MOM logo | ©2011 MTV

Of course, the big news this week is that I’m knocked up. Yes, The Dork Side is going to have a spawn. I blame MTV’s TEEN MOM. They make it all look so glamorous. I do not foresee this whole pregnancy thing affecting The Dork Side. Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps a year from now this column will be all about YO GABBA GABBA and SESAME STREET. In the meantime, it’s time to let the snark out of her cage: * I guess there is no such thing as bad publicity. Singer-turned-violent-douchebag Chris Brown’s album debuted at No. 1 on the […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Random Acts of Snarkiness (IDOL, Chris Brown, Sheen, Lohan)

By SONIA MANSFIELD 03/24/2011
Justin Bieber at the Los Angeles Premiere of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never | © 2011 Sue Schneider

Last week, I tried to get happy, but it didn’t stick. This week I’m back to my snarky self. I blame it on the fact that there wasn’t a new episode of GLEE this week, and the only female chef was eliminated on TOP CHEF, making it yet another all-male finale. Every season that show serves up tasty sexism and I eat it right up … So anyway, let’s get started: * According to TMZ, AMERICAN IDOL finalists have moved out of the IDOL mansion due to paranormal activity. I hear the place is haunted by the ghost of Taylor […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Come On, Get Happy

By SONIA MANSFIELD 03/17/2011
Donald Trump in THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE | ©NBC/Virginia Sherwood

There is a lot of bad news right now. I think we could all use a little cheering up, so I’ve composed a list of things that we can be all be happy about: There’s no law that forces us to watch CELEBRITY APPRENTICE … yet. Celebrities will always film themselves doin’ it and take naked photos of themselves, and act shocked and embarrassed when they are “leaked” to the media, giving us things to stealthily look at and read about while we pretend to work in our cubicles. Carson Daly’s LAST CALL has been renewed for an 11th season, […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: This is a Charlie Sheen-free zone

By SONIA MANSFIELD 03/03/2011
Charlie Sheen at the 2006 Summer CBS Party at the Television Critics | ©2006 Sue Schneider

For your reading pleasure, I present to you an entirely 100 percent Charlie Sheen-free column (well, except for the headling and the photo to the left). Don’t say I don’t ever do anything nice for you. And you’re welcome. ‘VOICE’ OF REASON Singer Christina Aguilera has signed on to be a judge on NBC’s AMERICAN IDOL rip-off THE VOICE. Considering she’s been spending most of her week in front of a judge, this is a big step up for Aguilera. This is great news for the contestants, too. Finally, someone can give them useful real-world advice about how to behave […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Let’s get ranty with the STARS, the Oscars, BEASTLY & more

By SONIA MANSFIELD 02/24/2011
BEASTLY movie poster | ©2011 CBS Films

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t limit my ranting to just one subject this week. There are just too many things that make me ranty. Dancing with the Polarizing Political Figures Professional witch-denier and all-around dummy Christine O’Donnell says she has been approached to be on ABC’s DANCING WITH THE STARS. In a related story, I’m going to file a class action suit against ABC for claiming that this show features stars. Christine O’Donnell? Really? What, you couldn’t get Michael Vick? ABC, have you thought about asking Ben Roethlisberger? If you are lucky, he might even rape one of your dancers. […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Why does everyone love Charlie Sheen?

By SONIA MANSFIELD 02/17/2011
Charlie Sheen in TWO AND A HALF MEN | ©2009 CBS

Charlie Sheen is a douche, and I don’t really care if he gets help. Yeah, I said it. I find it disturbing that this country is so willing to embrace the drug-fueled antics of a thrice-divorced, woman abusing, alcohol and drug addict, while at the same time show almost no sympathy for a young woman, raised by jacked-up, addict parents with dollar signs in their eyes. Seriously, in some ways, Lindsay Lohan never had a chance. Look, now don’t get me wrong, I’m no Lindsay fan. Still, I’m curious as to why Charlie Sheen gets a free pass and Lindsay […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: TV Quotables for Everyday Life

By SONIA MANSFIELD 02/10/2011
THE SIMPSONS - Season 22 - The 21st Annual TREEHOUSE OF HORROR | ©2011 Fox

“D’oh!” I say “D’oh” multiple times a day, every day. I say it when I drop something. I say it when I hurt myself. I say it when I’ve done something stupid. I say it when someone else drops something or tells me a story about something stupid they did. Sometimes I say it when I hear a sad story, saying softly, “Oh, d’oh,” with a sympathetic look. After years of watching THE SIMPSONS, it is burned in my brain. I’m sure the first time I said it, I thought about it and said it to make someone laugh. Now, […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Movie Quotables for Everyday Life

By SONIA MANSFIELD 01/27/2011
STAR WARS - original movie poster |©LucasFilm

“It’s a trap!” “I have a strange feeling about this.” “Never tell me the odds.” “Search your feelings, you know it to be true!” “All too easy.” “But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!” I think half of the things I say on a daily basis are from a STAR WARS movie. Recently, some cool bloggers in my town wrote about movie quotes that have worked themselves into their everyday lives. I repeat a lot of movie quotes throughout the day. For example, “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise” from THE FIGHT CLUB. […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: Breaking up with AMERICAN IDOL

By SONIA MANSFIELD 01/20/2011
Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson in AMERICAN IDOL - Season 10 | ©2011 Fox/Tony Duran

I am breaking up with someone. We were together for almost 10 years. The first couple of years were great. They were fun, and I really enjoyed our time together. In later years, I started to look at our relationship more like work than fun. I found myself getting frustrated and bored. Sure, we made changes to try to keep things fresh, but ultimately they fell flat. This is really hard for me to say, but I’m sorry, AMERICAN IDOL. I’m just not that into you. I used to love AMERICAN IDOL. I used to watch every glorious minute of […]Read On »


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The Dork Side: ‘Tis the season to get ranty

By SONIA MANSFIELD 12/21/2010
THE TOURIST movie poster | ©2010 Sony Pictures

There were so many things that made me rant-y this week that I couldn’t pick just one. Consider it your holiday gift from me to you, dear readers. • Why are people all worked up about Time Magazine’s Person of the Year? It’s Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Who cares? You don’t read Time Magazine anyway. Can you even remember who was Time Magazine’s Person of the Year last year? Exactly. • Oh good. JWoww wrote a dating book. She’s single, right? According to Amazon, customers who bought this book also bought a dieting book by Rosie O’Donnell. • Umm, is […]Read On »


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