The Dork Side

The Dork Side: Come On, Get Happy

Donald Trump in THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE | ©NBC/Virginia Sherwood

There is a lot of bad news right now. I think we could all use a little cheering up, so I’ve composed a list of things that we can be all be happy about: There’s no law that forces us to watch CELEBRITY APPRENTICE … yet. Celebrities will always film themselves doin’ it and take naked photos of themselves, and act shocked and embarrassed when they are “leaked” to the media, giving us things to stealthily look at and read about while we pretend to work in our cubicles. Carson Daly’s LAST CALL has been renewed for an 11th season, […]Read On »

COMMENTS (3)

The Dork Side: This is a Charlie Sheen-free zone

Charlie Sheen at the 2006 Summer CBS Party at the Television Critics | ©2006 Sue Schneider

For your reading pleasure, I present to you an entirely 100 percent Charlie Sheen-free column (well, except for the headling and the photo to the left). Don’t say I don’t ever do anything nice for you. And you’re welcome. ‘VOICE’ OF REASON Singer Christina Aguilera has signed on to be a judge on NBC’s AMERICAN IDOL rip-off THE VOICE. Considering she’s been spending most of her week in front of a judge, this is a big step up for Aguilera. This is great news for the contestants, too. Finally, someone can give them useful real-world advice about how to behave […]Read On »

COMMENTS (2)

The Dork Side: Let’s get ranty with the STARS, the Oscars, BEASTLY & more

BEASTLY movie poster | ©2011 CBS Films

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t limit my ranting to just one subject this week. There are just too many things that make me ranty. Dancing with the Polarizing Political Figures Professional witch-denier and all-around dummy Christine O’Donnell says she has been approached to be on ABC’s DANCING WITH THE STARS. In a related story, I’m going to file a class action suit against ABC for claiming that this show features stars. Christine O’Donnell? Really? What, you couldn’t get Michael Vick? ABC, have you thought about asking Ben Roethlisberger? If you are lucky, he might even rape one of your dancers. […]Read On »

COMMENTS (5)

The Dork Side: Why does everyone love Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen in TWO AND A HALF MEN | ©2009 CBS

Charlie Sheen is a douche, and I don’t really care if he gets help. Yeah, I said it. I find it disturbing that this country is so willing to embrace the drug-fueled antics of a thrice-divorced, woman abusing, alcohol and drug addict, while at the same time show almost no sympathy for a young woman, raised by jacked-up, addict parents with dollar signs in their eyes. Seriously, in some ways, Lindsay Lohan never had a chance. Look, now don’t get me wrong, I’m no Lindsay fan. Still, I’m curious as to why Charlie Sheen gets a free pass and Lindsay […]Read On »

COMMENTS (2)

The Dork Side: TV Quotables for Everyday Life

THE SIMPSONS - Season 22 - The 21st Annual TREEHOUSE OF HORROR | ©2011 Fox

“D’oh!” I say “D’oh” multiple times a day, every day. I say it when I drop something. I say it when I hurt myself. I say it when I’ve done something stupid. I say it when someone else drops something or tells me a story about something stupid they did. Sometimes I say it when I hear a sad story, saying softly, “Oh, d’oh,” with a sympathetic look. After years of watching THE SIMPSONS, it is burned in my brain. I’m sure the first time I said it, I thought about it and said it to make someone laugh. Now, […]Read On »

COMMENTS (1)

The Dork Side: Movie Quotables for Everyday Life

STAR WARS - original movie poster |©LucasFilm

“It’s a trap!” “I have a strange feeling about this.” “Never tell me the odds.” “Search your feelings, you know it to be true!” “All too easy.” “But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!” I think half of the things I say on a daily basis are from a STAR WARS movie. Recently, some cool bloggers in my town wrote about movie quotes that have worked themselves into their everyday lives. I repeat a lot of movie quotes throughout the day. For example, “I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise” from THE FIGHT CLUB. […]Read On »

COMMENTS (3)

The Dork Side: Breaking up with AMERICAN IDOL

Ryan Seacrest, Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson in AMERICAN IDOL - Season 10 | ©2011 Fox/Tony Duran

I am breaking up with someone. We were together for almost 10 years. The first couple of years were great. They were fun, and I really enjoyed our time together. In later years, I started to look at our relationship more like work than fun. I found myself getting frustrated and bored. Sure, we made changes to try to keep things fresh, but ultimately they fell flat. This is really hard for me to say, but I’m sorry, AMERICAN IDOL. I’m just not that into you. I used to love AMERICAN IDOL. I used to watch every glorious minute of […]Read On »

COMMENTS (2)

The Dork Side: ‘Tis the season to get ranty

THE TOURIST movie poster | ©2010 Sony Pictures

There were so many things that made me rant-y this week that I couldn’t pick just one. Consider it your holiday gift from me to you, dear readers. • Why are people all worked up about Time Magazine’s Person of the Year? It’s Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Who cares? You don’t read Time Magazine anyway. Can you even remember who was Time Magazine’s Person of the Year last year? Exactly. • Oh good. JWoww wrote a dating book. She’s single, right? According to Amazon, customers who bought this book also bought a dieting book by Rosie O’Donnell. • Umm, is […]Read On »

COMMENTS (2)

The Dork Side: A FESTIVUS for the rest of us

JERSEY SHORE | ©2010 MTV

I don’t really celebrate Christmas. I’m not a Grinch or anything. I’m just more a Festivus girl. If you don’t know what Festivus is then … wait, really? You don’t know what Festivus is? If you don’t know then you probably don’t have Internet and you are probably not reading this so I will move along. I have put up my Festivus pole, and I plan to wrestle with the head of the household for the feats of strength. The head of our household is our wiener dog, Homer, so that shouldn’t be too hard. But my favorite part of […]Read On »

COMMENTS (1)

The Dork Side: To be or not to 3-D?

AVATAR - IMAX movie poster | © 2009 20th Century Fox

I blame AVATAR for this whole thing. AVATAR, you owe the world an apology. You came out last year with the most amazing 3-D and now every crapsterpiece movie that comes out is in 3-D. Sure, there were movies that did 3-D before AVATAR, and some of them did it well (CORALINE). But ever since AVATAR the movie studios have started releasing even more movies in 3-D hoping to capture some of those unobtainum dollars. But, really, none of those movies put in the time, effort and money to look as great as the 3-D in AVATAR did. Don’t believe […]Read On »

COMMENTS (1)
Increase your website traffic with Attracta.com
bottom round