The Dork Side

The Dork Side: I’m Breaking Up With GLEE

Damian McGinty, Kevin McHale and Vanessa Lengies in GLEE - Season 3 - "Heart" | ©2012 Fox/Adam Rose

Teen weddings, texting while driving accidents, suicide attempts: When did GLEE turn into ONE GLEE HILL? I’m sorry, GLEE, but it’s over between us. I’m breaking up with you. I do appreciate GLEE. I understand what it is you’re trying to do. It usually sends a positive message about acceptance and understanding. I don’t love the message it sends to young girls, which is that boys are everything and should be the center of their worlds. But, on the whole, the show means well. I get it. I don’t know exactly when GLEE lost me. It happened gradually. I used …Read On »

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The Dork Side takes on movie trailers including THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, THE SMURFS and more

Andrew Garfield is Spider-Man in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN | ©2011 Sony Pictures/Marvel

Sometimes the best thing about going to the movies is seeing the movie trailers. Other times … not so much. Here are five movie previews that I watched so you don’t have to. THE SMURFS From the director of BIG MOMMA’S HOUSE and SCOOBY-DOO is another movie that will make you make you wish you were never born. This movie looks so smurfin’ bad. I would rather eat a smurfin’ gun than see it. Neil Patrick Harris deserves better than this. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN OK, I’m not going to lie to you, dear readers. I am going to see this …Read On »

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The Dork Side: 5 Reasons THE VOICE is better than AMERICAN IDOL

THE VOICE - Season 1 poster | ©2011 NBC

I used to love AMERICAN IDOL. I watched every season. Well, except for this last one. I quit AMERICAN IDOL cold turkey this year, and I never looked back. Honestly, I thought THE VOICE was going to be a lame IDOL ripoff. Instead it has turned out to be a pleasant surprise, addressing many of my problems with AMERICAN IDOL. Not only do I like THE VOICE, I think it is superior to AMERICAN IDOL. Here are the five reasons I think THE VOICE is better than AMERICAN IDOL. 1. THE VOICE isn’t sentimental. No one made it through the …Read On »

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The Dork Side: Live Nude Girls – Blake Lively edition

Blake Lively in GOSSIP GIRL - Season 4 - "It-Girl Happened One Night" | ©2011 The CW/Giovanni Rufino

Why do celebrities keep taking naked photos of themselves? They know they are going to get leaked on to the Internet, right? Considering how many celebrities’ naked photos and sex tapes have been “leaked,” why even risk it? “Yes, I know it happens to celebrities all the time, but it won’t happen to me [click].” I don’t take naked photos of myself for fear that they would be leaked on to the Internet, and I’m not famous, and no one wants to see me naked. If someone other than my husband wants to see me naked then they are going …Read On »

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The Dork Side: Kim Kardashian is engaged – will the wedding will be televised?

Kim Kardashian in KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS | ©2011 E!

I hope you are enjoying your three-day weekend. I know I’m enjoying mine. With all the regular TV season pretty much wrapped up I actually have time to see my friends and family. I was thinking about seeing THE HANGOVER II this weekend, but then I realized that I don’t hate myself. Let’s get on with this week’s Dork Side: In a match made in E! heaven, Kim Kardashian is engaged to NBA player Kris Humphries. Everyone is wondering how long the marriage will last. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess six to eight episodes. In …Read On »

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The Dork Side: Fox goes on a TV show killing spree and Bristol Palin gets “corrective surgery”

Jason Clarke and Matt Lauria in THE CHICAGO CODE - Season 1 - "Gillis, Chase and Baby Face" | ©2011 Fox/Jeffrey Garland

I’ve got a lot of snark that I need to unload on you people, so let’s just get right to it, shall we? • Oprah has confirmed that Will Smith and Jada Pickett Smith will be guests on her final show on May 25. I assume the final show also includes a time machine that takes everyone back to 1997 when this would have been awesome. • Bristol Palin stepped out last week with a whole new face.However, she is claiming she didn’t have plastic surgery. She had “corrective jaw surgery.” And just in time for her new reality show. …Read On »

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The Dork Side: What Royal Wedding?

The British Flag

I know that everyone is wetting their knickers over the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, but I couldn’t be more indifferent. The only way I could care less is if you told me that Train is going to be the band at the reception. Does this mean I have to hand over my chick card? My chick card is about to expire anyway. I was going to make an appointment at the Department of Chicks and Broads, but I’m afraid if I go down there they will take it away from me, or make me take the …Read On »

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The Dork Side: Donald Trump is not running for president (we hope)

Donald Trump in THE CELEBRITY APPRENTICE | ©NBC/Virginia Sherwood

I don’t believe that Donald Trump is really running for president. If he was he would have already launched a reality show in which people compete to be his running mate. I think we can all agree that Gary Busey would totally win that one. Still, when people talk about Donald Trump running for president I cringe. Why? Because people are saying they would actually vote for him. Normally, something this ridiculous would make me laugh out loud like the time my friend tried to convince me that McDonald’s oatmeal is healthy – except I live in the state that …Read On »

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The Dork Side: Let’s blame everything on TEEN MOM

TEEN MOM logo | ©2011 MTV

Of course, the big news this week is that I’m knocked up. Yes, The Dork Side is going to have a spawn. I blame MTV’s TEEN MOM. They make it all look so glamorous. I do not foresee this whole pregnancy thing affecting The Dork Side. Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps a year from now this column will be all about YO GABBA GABBA and SESAME STREET. In the meantime, it’s time to let the snark out of her cage: * I guess there is no such thing as bad publicity. Singer-turned-violent-douchebag Chris Brown’s album debuted at No. 1 on the …Read On »

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The Dork Side: Random Acts of Snarkiness (IDOL, Chris Brown, Sheen, Lohan)

Justin Bieber at the Los Angeles Premiere of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never | © 2011 Sue Schneider

Last week, I tried to get happy, but it didn’t stick. This week I’m back to my snarky self. I blame it on the fact that there wasn’t a new episode of GLEE this week, and the only female chef was eliminated on TOP CHEF, making it yet another all-male finale. Every season that show serves up tasty sexism and I eat it right up … So anyway, let’s get started: * According to TMZ, AMERICAN IDOL finalists have moved out of the IDOL mansion due to paranormal activity. I hear the place is haunted by the ghost of Taylor …Read On »

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